


This Isn't X Reader, It's X People

by spideyandstark



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Strong Language, Tumblr Prompt, enjoy, wade is a dumbass, writing challenge entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyandstark/pseuds/spideyandstark
Summary: “You two,” says Wade, motioning effervescently between Negasonic and Yukio. “How the fuck did you meet? Like, please don’t tell me some it’s-the-reader’s-imagination kinda bullshit, because you know what that is?”“What?” says Yukio.Wade looks off pointedly in the distance. “Lazy writing.”





	This Isn't X Reader, It's X People

“Hi, Wade!” says Yukio cheerfully, wandering into the kitchen.

Her girlfriend sits at the table, cheek cupped in her left hand, scrolling idly through her phone with the other. Wade has pulled up a chair beside her and is incessantly poking her bare arm. He stops momentarily; as Yukio enters the room he stands, chair scraping noisily against the floor, hands planted firmly into the oak of the table.

“Hi, Yukio! You’ve gotta help me.”

Yukio takes a moment to glance at Negasonic. She shrugs.

“With - what?”

“You two,” says Wade, motioning effervescently between them. “How the fuck did you meet? Like, please don’t tell me some it’s-the-reader’s-imagination kinda bullshit, because you know what that is?”

“What?” says Yukio.

Wade looks off pointedly in the distance. “Lazy writing.”

From her place at the table, Negasonic says: “Fuck off.”

“Ellie, don’t be mean.” Yukio cracks a smile.

“Wait, wait, wait, hold it the fuck up.” Wade raises his hands. He turns slowly and deliberately. “Ellie? That’s too confusing.”

“What the fuck?”

“The reader,” says Wade, waving in your direction. “You’ve gotta think of the reader.”

“The -”

“Listen, _El_ ,” he continues. “If I recall, in the credits of my movies you are referred to as” - Wade grabs a thick stack of paper from the table and flicks through about a hundred obscene drawings until he reaches the first page of the script - “Negasonic Teenage Warhead.”

“Observant,” she quips.

“So you can’t just be called _Ellie_ in this fucking fanfiction.”

“You’re not the writer.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Warrior Cat.” He pokes her on the nose. “I automatically have authority over anyone with a username as goddamn basic as _spideyandstark_ \- that’s very misleading, by the way.”

“Jesus Christ,” is all Negasonic says. 

She stands up and walks over to the sink and pours the rest of her coffee down the drain. Wade materialises at her shoulder.

“Now back to the plot,” he says. “You still didn’t tell me!”

Negasonic growls. “Tell you _what?”_

“Uh, the greatest love story of the twenty-first century. What do you say, Yukio? Are you gonna spill the mutant beans?”

“Sorry,” says Yukio, innocuously sheepish. “I don’t remember.”

“Wait,” says Negasonic, putting her mug on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “Don’t remember what?”

“Oh damn,” says Wade. He turns to you - _yes, you, reader_ \- eyes comically wide. “Look, I’m gonna make an exception here. This isn’t an X Reader fic but the aforementioned writer lacks the skill to characterise Colossus and this is about to get wild as fuck.”

Y/N -

“No no,” whispers Wade. “You just stand there impassively. You’re doing great.” He raises his voice, looking up. “Can I get some popcorn?”

He wanders over to a cupboard where a packet of microwaveable popcorn now stands lonely on the shelf. The soft drone of the microwave fills the palpable silence of the room, soon accompanied by poorly-timed bursts of kernels. 

Yukio is playing with the hem of her cardigan, but when Wade turns around she meets his eye with a tangible, harmonious gaze. 

“Did you catch that, Y/N? I think it’s important,” says Wade, shovelling popcorn into his mouth.

Yukio smiles at her girlfriend. “I remember some of it. Why don’t you tell the story?”

“I can’t believe you don’t remember.”

Despite her attempts to hide it, Negasonic looks somewhat hurt.

“I’ll remember if you remind me,” says Yukio cheerfully, but she rests a hand gently on Negasonic’s shoulder.

Negasonic gazes away, cheeks tinged slight pink in embarrassment. She says vaguely: “Remember that homophobic asshole?”

Yukio seems torn. She looks back at Wade, then says: “A little, yes.”

“There was a guy,” she elaborates. “I was outside and a guy came over to me and called me a fag.”

“Yes.”

“And I told him to fuck off.”

“Yes.”

“Then he started shouting that ladies shouldn’t swear so I stood up and punched him and he started fighting me.”

She looks unbothered, but Yukio’s hand closes a little tighter around her shoulder.

“Uh-huh.”

“And then,” she says, “you showed up.” 

Negasonic throws Wade a wary glance. He says: “Don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying breakfast and not listening.”

“Sure.”

“It’s true, I’m talking to Y/N.” He glances at you, sarcasm dripping from his cheery calibre. “What’s your name?”

Negasonic rolls her eyes. She looks back at Yukio.

“You remember now?”

And now, Wade realises that Yukio has always remembered. That Yukio would probably traverse the known universe for this moody asshole with the lame real name. 

Yukio has lived dreams replaying the moment she and Ellie met, watching her fight, gently kissing the bruise on her cheek and memorising the way she speaks and moves, and she wants to share it.

“Yeah,” Yukio grins. “I grabbed your arm and pulled you back and -”

“- kissed me -”

“- and said -”

“- ‘Leave my girlfriend alone’ -”

“ - and then you -” Yukio has started laughing.

“- I just said ‘well you’re my girlfriend now, no take-backs.’” Negasonic grins.

Wade holds a hand over his mouth. “You guys are literally the cutest couple ever.”

Yukio smiles brightly and her hand slips down from Negasonic’s shoulder to the vacant hand at her side. She holds it up playfully, like a victory trophy.

She looks back at Negasonic. “You know I was just kidding about not remembering -”

Negasonic glares at Wade defiantly then presses a firm kiss to Yukio’s lips and says: “I know.”

 

 

(“What are you still doing here?” says Wade, looking at Y/N. “It’s over. Leave kudos. Buh-bye.” )

**Author's Note:**

> wade gives questionable advice but i think u should trust him on this one
> 
> my fic for @lesbiansassemble's writing challenge on tumblr!!!!


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